Dealing With Faultfinders

Bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you. Luke 6:28

How does God want us to treat the faultfinders in our lives? They are people who, when they don't win, act "hurt" and blame others for everything that's gone wrong. Know anybody like that? The Bible says,"Speaking the truth in love...grow up...into...Christ" ( Ephesians 4:15). Here are some pointers to help you:

(1) Never confront with power, only with love! Recognise that the outward bravado of the faultfinder usually disguises deep insecurity; it lets them shift the focus off their own fears and onto the faults of others.
(2) Move towards, not away from. Our first inclination is to ignore or isolate difficult people. Don't! Difficult people often want to be ignored, so avoiding them just provides emotional distance for them to hide. Plus it confirms their belief that you don't care, that you won't listen because you think they're wrong and you're right.
(3)Engage relationally. Show genuine interest in their family, their work and their well being. Faultfinders usually struggle with giving and receiving love. They're inclined to elevate opinion and loyalty above communication and reconciliation. Nowhere is this more evident than in their personal lives. So be prepared to empathise with the trail of broken relationships you're likely to find.
(4) Bless and affirm. Mark Twain said, "Kindness is the language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see." Faultfinders generally get more kicks than kisses.

So,"Bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you."
Avoiding them doesn't work; neither does arguing. But "love never fails."