Marriage Myths (1)

May... God... give you a spirit of unity.
Romans 15:5

Too many couples struggling with issues have bought into four common marriage myths.
For the next few days let's look at each of them:
"If I try, I can change my partner." Give it up! If you think following the "right" plan, struggling harder and refusing to give up will do it,think again.
The Bible says, "Do not think you are better than you are"(Romans 12:3 ).
The truth is, you can only work on yourself.
Once you change your steps in the marriage dance, your mate will begin to adjust theirs. Plus, by identifying and working on your own shortcomings you'll gain credibility with your mate, and create an environment that's conducive to change.
Now, here are some things you can do:
(a) Praise the qualities you admire most (remember when you were dating?) and build on them. Anytime you see positive change, recognise and encourage it.
(b) Don't letthings escalate. Make a habit of asking, "Is there anything on your mind we haven't talked about lately? " The Bible says don't go to bed angry(Ephesians 4:26), so deal with things before they lead to hard feelings and cause strife.
(c) Try to be more understanding. When people don't feel understood, they dig in their heels and resist change.
(d) Lessen your dependence on your mate. Remember, no one can meet all your needs all the time. You need friends to talk to and share activities with.
(e)Above all, be patient; neither of you is perfect.
Ask God to "give you a spirit of unity." And bear in mind that self-control is the result of God's in dwelling Spirit, not human effort (Galatians 5:23 ).