my papa 18

Papa was admitted to NUH on 20/6/08 evening, he cough out blood in the afternoon about 4 pm, we were all panic, at the end , he himself said want to be in the hospital...

Dr Yeo examined him, his condition was not good, from the x ray, shown that the tumor is growing and he has difficulty in breathing, he has to breathe with the help of oxygen, but the doctor says oxygen is not his life saver... he was anxious and worry too... he cannot let go, he worry about me... I wrote him a note, to assure him that I will be alright, tell him my gratitude and love that he gave me ....

I encountered many problem at home with Peter, he wanted to lock Sharon and me out, he wanted to change the pad lock, at this critical moment, why can't he show a bit of compassion?
I pray to God asking for mercy on us! and God heard my prayer, he left the house on Monday to BL, at the same times he wrote me another nasty note, I offer it up to God, let God handle... again, God show me the truth...on Tuesday 24/6/08, he changes his attitude, he sent me a SMS..BOI..I LUV U..PS... I reply him .. I love you too... from there on he sort of quiet down and do not disturb me too much, as usual, he will call me everyday to check where am I, now I force to tell lie, even if I am in hospital, I will tell him I am at somewhere else just to avoid nasty remark from him again... today, Friday, I have fear again, fear that he will give me trouble not allow me to visit my papa in the evening, so I make a call to inform him that I will be going to visit my papa , Praise the Lord! he told me go ahead.. don't worry!.. God Our Father, I thank you for showing him the light, hope that this light will shine..Thank you God!

Back to my papa, it is another struggle with the siblings, the doctor suggest that we transfer him to hospices because of the care concern, but my siblings think that it will be better to bring him home and take care by ourselves, the problem is that we do not have the knowledge to take care of him, furthermore, he is now on tube feeding, everybody think that just pour the milk in the tube, but it is not that way, and mom is as old as papa, only one year younger, she is 81...so now just leave it, someone has to go hospital and learn how to feed him by tube and others...

God our Father, we need you, come and help us, help my siblings to understand each other and to live peacefully and do not make my papa worry...i ask this in the name of Jesus our Lord! Amen