Today papa went for 2nd cycle of chemo, we arrived NUH CC at 11 am, waited for blood test at about 11.30am... after that papa, ma and me went down for lunch, we had simple lunch, papa and ma have fish porridge, I had noodle...went back to CC at 12.30pm... chemo start at about 3 pm, delay about two hours, there are so many people waiting for chemo...
Papa chemo was done at about 6pm, Yong came and took them home for dinner, I went to fetch Sharon then back to office...
Papa is alright after the 1st dose, tomorrow will have the 2nd dose, it will be shorter time about 1 hour..
Praise the Lord....
Amen.
Thursday, March 29, 2007
Monday, March 26, 2007
4 Basic Steps on the Journey of Life
Chinese philosopher Lao Tzu famously said
"The journey of a thousand miles starts with a single step."
Indeed, as with everything in life, we learn by taking one step at a time. We may fall down, but we get back up and take another step. That is the only way to learn and to continue growing. In such a fast-paced modern world, however, some of us forget that principle. We try to run, inevitably trip and take a very painful tumble.
Some of us put off this journey of self-discovery and empowerment; we model ourselves against other people, we learn to suppress our genuine selves in order to fit in, we are terrified perhaps that if we opened ourselves up and looked in, we might not like what we see.
Well, like it or not, that's a risk we all have to face. With high risk comes high yield or a big loss. Unfortunately, most of us prefer to live in denial. We go about thinking the best or the worst of ourselves, until one day we fall down into the mud and we actually have to face ourselves.
Who are you?
What makes you special?
What makes you YOU?
There are four basic steps that we need to follow on our journey.
Step One - Be prepared to look at yourself and admit that every bruise, every fall is all your doing.
Step Two - Surrender, let go of the idea that you should control every event, and have faith that everything you ask will be given to you.
Step Three - Sit down every day and write. Start a journal and every day record the events of the day, paying attention to your reactions to events, experiences, and people. Classify your reactions for what they were, whether they be anger, jealousy, resentment, joy, love, or self-pity.
By identifying your reaction and classifying it as your reaction to an event, you will come to see why you are acting as you are. Why you would react angrily in a situation that does not require anger; your own feelings and responsibilities.
Step Four - Ask why.
"Why do I become angry in that situation?",
"What is my deeper hidden feeling about this type of situation?".
Start recording your "why's" in a separate book. In this book, record all your experiences and incidents of your past and how you reacted to them.
You will soon start to see that your current reactions can be traced back to past situations. Sooner or later we must admit that all our reactions are a result of our desires, expectations and our ego. Once you can trace your weaknesses, you will find ways to deal with them in a more constructive and positive way.
"The journey of a thousand miles starts with a single step."
Indeed, as with everything in life, we learn by taking one step at a time. We may fall down, but we get back up and take another step. That is the only way to learn and to continue growing. In such a fast-paced modern world, however, some of us forget that principle. We try to run, inevitably trip and take a very painful tumble.
Some of us put off this journey of self-discovery and empowerment; we model ourselves against other people, we learn to suppress our genuine selves in order to fit in, we are terrified perhaps that if we opened ourselves up and looked in, we might not like what we see.
Well, like it or not, that's a risk we all have to face. With high risk comes high yield or a big loss. Unfortunately, most of us prefer to live in denial. We go about thinking the best or the worst of ourselves, until one day we fall down into the mud and we actually have to face ourselves.
Who are you?
What makes you special?
What makes you YOU?
There are four basic steps that we need to follow on our journey.
Step One - Be prepared to look at yourself and admit that every bruise, every fall is all your doing.
Step Two - Surrender, let go of the idea that you should control every event, and have faith that everything you ask will be given to you.
Step Three - Sit down every day and write. Start a journal and every day record the events of the day, paying attention to your reactions to events, experiences, and people. Classify your reactions for what they were, whether they be anger, jealousy, resentment, joy, love, or self-pity.
By identifying your reaction and classifying it as your reaction to an event, you will come to see why you are acting as you are. Why you would react angrily in a situation that does not require anger; your own feelings and responsibilities.
Step Four - Ask why.
"Why do I become angry in that situation?",
"What is my deeper hidden feeling about this type of situation?".
Start recording your "why's" in a separate book. In this book, record all your experiences and incidents of your past and how you reacted to them.
You will soon start to see that your current reactions can be traced back to past situations. Sooner or later we must admit that all our reactions are a result of our desires, expectations and our ego. Once you can trace your weaknesses, you will find ways to deal with them in a more constructive and positive way.
To all the great women
Maya Angelou said this:
"I've learned that no matter what happens, or how bad it seems today, life does go on, and it will be better tomorrow."
"I've learned that you can tell a lot about a person by the way he/she handles these three things: a rainy day, lost luggage, and tangled Christmas tree lights."
"I've learned that regardless of your relationship with your parents, you'll miss them when they're gone from your life."
"I've learned that making a "living" is not the same thing as "making a life."
"I've learned that life sometimes gives you a second chance."
"I've learned that you shouldn't go through life with a catcher's mitt on both hands; you need to be able to throw some things back."
"I've learned that whenever I decide something with an open heart, I usually make the right decision."
"I've learned that even when I have pains, I don't have to be one."
"I've learned that every day you should reach out and touch someone. People love a warm hug, or just a friendly pat on the back."
"I've learned that I still have a lot to learn."
"I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel."
"I've learned that no matter what happens, or how bad it seems today, life does go on, and it will be better tomorrow."
"I've learned that you can tell a lot about a person by the way he/she handles these three things: a rainy day, lost luggage, and tangled Christmas tree lights."
"I've learned that regardless of your relationship with your parents, you'll miss them when they're gone from your life."
"I've learned that making a "living" is not the same thing as "making a life."
"I've learned that life sometimes gives you a second chance."
"I've learned that you shouldn't go through life with a catcher's mitt on both hands; you need to be able to throw some things back."
"I've learned that whenever I decide something with an open heart, I usually make the right decision."
"I've learned that even when I have pains, I don't have to be one."
"I've learned that every day you should reach out and touch someone. People love a warm hug, or just a friendly pat on the back."
"I've learned that I still have a lot to learn."
"I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel."
Let Go and Let God
If you love someone... You will always believe in him, always expect the best of him.
1 Corinthians 13:7
To let go doesn't mean to stop caring, it just means I can't do it for someone else.
To let go is not to cut myself off, it's the realisation that I don't control them.
To let go is not to enable, but to allow learning from natural consequences.
To let go is to admit my powerlessness, which means the outcome is not in my hands.
To let go is not to try and change or blame another; I can only change myself.
To let go is not to care for, but to care about; not to fix, but to be supportive; not to judge, but to allow another to be a human being.
To let go is not to be in the middle arranging all the outcomes, but to allow others to effect their own outcomes.
To let go is not to be protective, it's to permit another to face reality.
To let go is not to deny, but to accept.
To let go is not to nag, scold or argue, but to search out my own shortcomings and correct them.
To let go is not to adjust everything to my desires, but to take each day as it comes and cherish each moment.
To let go is not to criticise and regulate anyone, but to try to become what I dream I can be.
To let go is not to regret the past, but to grow and live for the future.
To let go is to fear less and love more.
To let go - is to let God!
1 Corinthians 13:7
To let go doesn't mean to stop caring, it just means I can't do it for someone else.
To let go is not to cut myself off, it's the realisation that I don't control them.
To let go is not to enable, but to allow learning from natural consequences.
To let go is to admit my powerlessness, which means the outcome is not in my hands.
To let go is not to try and change or blame another; I can only change myself.
To let go is not to care for, but to care about; not to fix, but to be supportive; not to judge, but to allow another to be a human being.
To let go is not to be in the middle arranging all the outcomes, but to allow others to effect their own outcomes.
To let go is not to be protective, it's to permit another to face reality.
To let go is not to deny, but to accept.
To let go is not to nag, scold or argue, but to search out my own shortcomings and correct them.
To let go is not to adjust everything to my desires, but to take each day as it comes and cherish each moment.
To let go is not to criticise and regulate anyone, but to try to become what I dream I can be.
To let go is not to regret the past, but to grow and live for the future.
To let go is to fear less and love more.
To let go - is to let God!
Sunday, March 25, 2007
How To Keep Your Job
Be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry.
James 1:19
Eighty percent of the time people don't lose their job because of technical incompetence, but because of relational incompetence - they don't know how to get along with other people. If you master the three instructions that James gives, the likelihood of that happening to you will go down to just about zero.
(1) Be quick to listen! By staying calm and refusing to react, you gain insight - and respect! "A fool gives full vent to his anger, but a wise man keeps himself under control" (Proverbs 29:11 ). (2) Be slow to speak! If you talk too much or too fast, here are three tips to slow you down:
(a) Stop. Just stop talking. Inhale. Count up to 10. Excuse yourself and go to the bathroom.
(b) Practice not interrupting. Allow the other person to continue what they're saying until they're through.
(c) Ask yourself: Why am I talking so much? Is it insecurity? Anxiety? The need to control? A desire to impress? The reason most of us try to convince, impress or control others is because we have a hard time trusting God to work things out. In other words, "our talk issue is a trust issue."
(3) Be slow to anger! If you observe the first two principles, you'll tend to come out all right on number three. It'll just happen.
You can make progress on these three things - and you can start today. And if you do it consistently year after year you'll get to the end of your life and say to yourself, "I'm so grateful that I took the wisdom of God seriously."
James 1:19
Eighty percent of the time people don't lose their job because of technical incompetence, but because of relational incompetence - they don't know how to get along with other people. If you master the three instructions that James gives, the likelihood of that happening to you will go down to just about zero.
(1) Be quick to listen! By staying calm and refusing to react, you gain insight - and respect! "A fool gives full vent to his anger, but a wise man keeps himself under control" (Proverbs 29:11 ). (2) Be slow to speak! If you talk too much or too fast, here are three tips to slow you down:
(a) Stop. Just stop talking. Inhale. Count up to 10. Excuse yourself and go to the bathroom.
(b) Practice not interrupting. Allow the other person to continue what they're saying until they're through.
(c) Ask yourself: Why am I talking so much? Is it insecurity? Anxiety? The need to control? A desire to impress? The reason most of us try to convince, impress or control others is because we have a hard time trusting God to work things out. In other words, "our talk issue is a trust issue."
(3) Be slow to anger! If you observe the first two principles, you'll tend to come out all right on number three. It'll just happen.
You can make progress on these three things - and you can start today. And if you do it consistently year after year you'll get to the end of your life and say to yourself, "I'm so grateful that I took the wisdom of God seriously."
Saturday, March 24, 2007
My Papa 4
Today, Yong, Mom and I brought papa to NUH CC for check up and blood test.
Praise the Lord, blood test was fine, doctor order 2nd cycle of chemo next week from 28/3 to 30/3.
After that we have dinner at yong's house, papa looks happy, nothing much we can do, just be with him and give him mentally support.
Dear Lord, we need you, give us strength to carry on, if it is your will, heal my papa.
Amen!
Praise the Lord, blood test was fine, doctor order 2nd cycle of chemo next week from 28/3 to 30/3.
After that we have dinner at yong's house, papa looks happy, nothing much we can do, just be with him and give him mentally support.
Dear Lord, we need you, give us strength to carry on, if it is your will, heal my papa.
Amen!
Wednesday, March 21, 2007
Tuesday, March 20, 2007
My Papa 2
My papa looks tired on Saturday, I keep very close watch on him, I sense that something is not right, but I was helpless, don't know what to do, just pray for him.
Sunday after Mass, went to buy lunch and we eat togather with my brother and family, after lunch,he looks tired again, he was complaning that his food is not digesting, feeling very uncomfortable, I tried all sort of thing to make him feel better but in vain, so I stay with him till about 830pm, I reached home about 9 pm, took my shower and sit down to check mail and at the sametime chatting with school mate in MSN, suddendly my mobile phone ring, when I heard that ring tone, I know something is going wrong, dad called , told me that he felt breathless, couldn't sleep, immediately I contact my brother who stay at Bt Batok, I park my vehicle at his car park, and we rush to where he was, we decided to call an ambulance to send him to A & E @NUH, by the time when thing settled, it was almost 4 am, so my brother & I went home, and slept at 430am....
Praise the Lord, he is stable now, can be discharge tomorrow..
Thank you Lord for your protection!
Sunday after Mass, went to buy lunch and we eat togather with my brother and family, after lunch,he looks tired again, he was complaning that his food is not digesting, feeling very uncomfortable, I tried all sort of thing to make him feel better but in vain, so I stay with him till about 830pm, I reached home about 9 pm, took my shower and sit down to check mail and at the sametime chatting with school mate in MSN, suddendly my mobile phone ring, when I heard that ring tone, I know something is going wrong, dad called , told me that he felt breathless, couldn't sleep, immediately I contact my brother who stay at Bt Batok, I park my vehicle at his car park, and we rush to where he was, we decided to call an ambulance to send him to A & E @NUH, by the time when thing settled, it was almost 4 am, so my brother & I went home, and slept at 430am....
Praise the Lord, he is stable now, can be discharge tomorrow..
Thank you Lord for your protection!
Sunday, March 18, 2007
My Papa
My papa and mama, photo taken on my birthday 14/1/07My papa is 81 years old. He loves me very very much. He is such a wonderful father to 7 of us. I love him too.
My papa is not feeling well since January 07, I took him to the doctor, he has difficulty to swallow food, but he never tell me earlier, so he just take porridge all the time, and I never take the trouble to ask him why, this is my mistake!
After seeing the doctor on 7 Feb 07, the doctor immediately refer him to NUH, I took him there, the MO did some test and ask him to come back for another test on 14/2/07.
The result was reviewed on 23/2/07 (fifth day of chinese new year), when we met up with the MO, he still not sure what was wrong, and wanted to fix another appointment for CT scan, but papa said he cannot wait any longer, he felt something is very wrong with his gullet, the MO advised us to go to the emergency to get thing done, so we went straight to the A & E department, the senior doctor called for x'ray, and papa was admitted by 7pm at Wd54Bed45, and he went through many test, scan ect...
On 28/2/07, Dr Daniel Chan revealed to Yong and me that papa is suffering from lung cancer advance stage, I asked God for strength to let me accept this news, and we discuss with the doctor that temporary don't tell papa what is the diagnosis, just tell him he has a very bad tumor and need treatment, and he agreed. I still do not know what was in his mind at that moment.
On 1/3/07, he was transfered to WD58Bed25. And 1st cycle 1st dose chemo started on 2/3/07 (Fri), he took it well, and 2nd dose the next day saturday, after the 3rd dose on sunday 4/3/07, he can be discharged, and we took him to Yong's house for dinner (15th day of CNY), all of us gather there to celebrate papa coming home, after dinner, sent him and mama back to woodland...
Two weeks after his chemo now, he has no side effect of nausea, fever, but he looks a bit tired today, that worry me... but he told me that he can swallow food more comfortable, Lord, please help my papa, let your will be done on him, I lift him up to you, I ask this in the name of Jesus. Amen!
Saturday, March 17, 2007
Doing What It Takes
I have finished my course.
2 Timothy 4:7-8
Bob Ireland crossed the finish line on Wednesday, November 6, 1986, as the New York City Marathon's 19,413th and final finisher - the first person to run a marathon with his arms instead of his legs!
Bob, who was 40 years old, had his legs blown off in Vietnam. He recorded the slowest time in the marathon's history: four days, two hours, 48 minutes, 17 seconds.
When asked why he ran, he gave three reasons:
(1) to show that being a Christian gives you a plus in life;
(2) to test his conditioning;
(3) to promote physical fitness and courage in others.
"Success is not based on where you start" he said, "it's where you finish- and I finished." Wow! With two good legs and all our faculties, most of us won't even get out of bed an hour earlier to discover and pursue our God-given destiny.
Success always comes at a price.
Cicero practiced speaking before friends every day for 30 years to perfect his eloquence. Milton rose at 4 o'clock every morning to have enough hours for writing his Paradise Lost. Gibbon spent 26 years on his Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire. Noah Webster laboured 36 years writing his dictionary, crossing the Atlantic twice to gather material. Byron re-wrote one of his poetic masterpieces 99 times before publication, and it became a classic. Before Paul wrote: "I finished my course," he wrote: "I have worked harder, been put in jail more often, been whipped times without number, and faced death again and again and again" (2 Corinthians 11:23 ).
Go ahead, measure yourself by that standard!
Then ask yourself "Am I willing to do what it takes?"
2 Timothy 4:7-8
Bob Ireland crossed the finish line on Wednesday, November 6, 1986, as the New York City Marathon's 19,413th and final finisher - the first person to run a marathon with his arms instead of his legs!
Bob, who was 40 years old, had his legs blown off in Vietnam. He recorded the slowest time in the marathon's history: four days, two hours, 48 minutes, 17 seconds.
When asked why he ran, he gave three reasons:
(1) to show that being a Christian gives you a plus in life;
(2) to test his conditioning;
(3) to promote physical fitness and courage in others.
"Success is not based on where you start" he said, "it's where you finish- and I finished." Wow! With two good legs and all our faculties, most of us won't even get out of bed an hour earlier to discover and pursue our God-given destiny.
Success always comes at a price.
Cicero practiced speaking before friends every day for 30 years to perfect his eloquence. Milton rose at 4 o'clock every morning to have enough hours for writing his Paradise Lost. Gibbon spent 26 years on his Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire. Noah Webster laboured 36 years writing his dictionary, crossing the Atlantic twice to gather material. Byron re-wrote one of his poetic masterpieces 99 times before publication, and it became a classic. Before Paul wrote: "I finished my course," he wrote: "I have worked harder, been put in jail more often, been whipped times without number, and faced death again and again and again" (2 Corinthians 11:23 ).
Go ahead, measure yourself by that standard!
Then ask yourself "Am I willing to do what it takes?"
God And Your Job
Humble yourselves in the sight of the Lord.
James 4:10
What does God value in our job performance?
(1) He values humility and servanthood, not pride and a sense of entitlement. "Humble yourselves in the sight of the Lord, and He will lift you up." If we are secure in our identity as God's child, we can relax and know that, like the loving parent He is, our Heavenly Father will recognise and reward us fairly and generously. Knowing this frees us from having to be recognised by others. Indeed, if being appreciated is your sole reason for working, God will have people overlook you until you get the order of work straight in your mind. You can be appreciated at home, by your friends and your family, but work is just what it sounds like: work!
(2) He values courage and risk-taking. Consider the faith it took for David to leave his home, the humble shepherd's straw mattress on the hillsides, and travel to King Saul's palace. He must have felt just a little out of place, knowing he was underdressed and uninformed about the culture of the royal court. Like a boy from the slums suddenly finding himself in Buckingham Palace, David was instantly out of his comfort zone. Then later, after it's clear that his new boss is afflicted by an evil spirit and intends to kill him, David coolly maintains his mission because he knows God wants him there. "He will lift you up." One day David would have his boss's position, palace and perks, but he had to leave the 'how' and the 'when' up to God and serve faithfully.
The same goes for you.
James 4:10
What does God value in our job performance?
(1) He values humility and servanthood, not pride and a sense of entitlement. "Humble yourselves in the sight of the Lord, and He will lift you up." If we are secure in our identity as God's child, we can relax and know that, like the loving parent He is, our Heavenly Father will recognise and reward us fairly and generously. Knowing this frees us from having to be recognised by others. Indeed, if being appreciated is your sole reason for working, God will have people overlook you until you get the order of work straight in your mind. You can be appreciated at home, by your friends and your family, but work is just what it sounds like: work!
(2) He values courage and risk-taking. Consider the faith it took for David to leave his home, the humble shepherd's straw mattress on the hillsides, and travel to King Saul's palace. He must have felt just a little out of place, knowing he was underdressed and uninformed about the culture of the royal court. Like a boy from the slums suddenly finding himself in Buckingham Palace, David was instantly out of his comfort zone. Then later, after it's clear that his new boss is afflicted by an evil spirit and intends to kill him, David coolly maintains his mission because he knows God wants him there. "He will lift you up." One day David would have his boss's position, palace and perks, but he had to leave the 'how' and the 'when' up to God and serve faithfully.
The same goes for you.
Friday, March 16, 2007
Invest What God's Given You
To one he gave five talents, to another two, and to another one.
Matthew 25:15
In Jesus' story, the first two servants "went and traded." They pondered their options, crunched the numbers, took the plunge, and dared to fail. And their Master said "Well done, good and faithful servant" (v.21). Here Jesus points us to the day when the "earth and all its works [will be] exposed to the scrutiny of judgment" (2 Peter 3:10 ).
What's the point?
Dare to take great risks for God! Not foolish risks, but prayed-over, well-considered risks in response to faith. The only mistake - is not to risk making a mistake.
And how about the third servant? "I was afraid, and went and hid your talent in the ground" (v.25). The first two invested theirs; he buried his. The first two went out on a limb; he hugged the trunk. He made the most tragic and common mistake of giftedness. He failed to benefit the Master with his talent. Some invest their talents and give God credit; others misuse them and give God grief. Some honour Him with fruit; others insult Him with excuses. How did the Master feel about it? "Get rid of this 'play-it-safe' who won't go out on a limb" (Matthew 25:29-30 ).
Fear is the opposite of faith.
And, "without faith it is impossible to please [God]" (Hebrews 11:6).
Bottom line: step out in faith; He won't let you down. Take a risk; He won't let you fail. Even if you fail several times on your way to success, God invites you to dream of the day when you'll feel His hand on your shoulder saying, "Well done, good and faithful servant!"
Matthew 25:15
In Jesus' story, the first two servants "went and traded." They pondered their options, crunched the numbers, took the plunge, and dared to fail. And their Master said "Well done, good and faithful servant" (v.21). Here Jesus points us to the day when the "earth and all its works [will be] exposed to the scrutiny of judgment" (2 Peter 3:10 ).
What's the point?
Dare to take great risks for God! Not foolish risks, but prayed-over, well-considered risks in response to faith. The only mistake - is not to risk making a mistake.
And how about the third servant? "I was afraid, and went and hid your talent in the ground" (v.25). The first two invested theirs; he buried his. The first two went out on a limb; he hugged the trunk. He made the most tragic and common mistake of giftedness. He failed to benefit the Master with his talent. Some invest their talents and give God credit; others misuse them and give God grief. Some honour Him with fruit; others insult Him with excuses. How did the Master feel about it? "Get rid of this 'play-it-safe' who won't go out on a limb" (Matthew 25:29-30 ).
Fear is the opposite of faith.
And, "without faith it is impossible to please [God]" (Hebrews 11:6).
Bottom line: step out in faith; He won't let you down. Take a risk; He won't let you fail. Even if you fail several times on your way to success, God invites you to dream of the day when you'll feel His hand on your shoulder saying, "Well done, good and faithful servant!"
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