He who listens when strong words are spoken will be honoured.
Proverbs 13:18
Nobody enjoys confrontation, but it's impossible to grow without it. Confrontation is speaking the truth in a personal, face-to-face encounter with those we value. God lovingly confronts us in areas where we need to grow, and He expects us to do the same with others. Is it easy?
No!
Is it stressful?
Absolutely!
Here are 4 guiding principles tohelp you:
(1) Don't talk about them, talk to them.
Confrontation is rarely done indirectly and seldom done publicly. There must be clear, thoughtful communication delivered firmly but graciously.
(2) Provide examples - without exaggeration, spiritual hype or a lot of emotion. Give specific examples. Don't hide behind "I believe the Lord has shown me that you're wrong. " When Nathan confronted King David abou this sin with Bathsheba he was specific. Be careful to keep your emotions in check. Allow enough time between the offence and the confrontation for a prayerful defusing of any anger you may feel.
(3) Show them a better way. Don't leave them to stew without clear direction on how to improve. That's not fair and it's certainly not constructive. Actually, it can lead to more intense issues and unwanted complications. The best approach is simply to identify the problem then calmly suggest ways it can be corrected. Your goal should be to help them, not guilt-trip them.
(4) Show compassion and understanding. Don't miss this part! If you do, you'll find yourself accusing rather than confronting. Be honest, hasn't your own journey to success been through multiple failures? So approach them with love and genuine concern.
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