God's help
Saturday, April 30, 2005
Proverbs
I was reading Proverbs yesterday at the adoration room, the following verses are very meaningful:
Provb 16:1 We may make our plans, but God has the last word.
Provb 16:3 Ask the Lord to bless your plans, and you will be
successful in carrying them out.
Provb 27:1 Never boast about tomorrow. You don't know what
will happen between now and then.
Provb 27:10 A nearby neighbor can help you more than
relatives who are far away
Provb 27 :12 Sensible people will see trouble coming and avoid it,
but an unthinking person will walk right into it
and regret it later
Provb 16:1 We may make our plans, but God has the last word.
Provb 16:3 Ask the Lord to bless your plans, and you will be
successful in carrying them out.
Provb 27:1 Never boast about tomorrow. You don't know what
will happen between now and then.
Provb 27:10 A nearby neighbor can help you more than
relatives who are far away
Provb 27 :12 Sensible people will see trouble coming and avoid it,
but an unthinking person will walk right into it
and regret it later
Building A Better Marriage (3)
Be willing to listen. James 1:19
Have you seen the t-shirt that says, "I'm talking and I can't shut up!
"Whenever you're dating you can talk for hours. But when you're married,unless you work at it, conversation sometimes becomes superficial andleads to disagreements.
God says, "Be willing to listen and slow to speak."
There is an art to communicating.
(1) Let your mate lead. When they're talking about things outside yourfield of interest, remember, God said, "submit to one another" (Ephesians 5:21 ). Sometimes that means asking your partner, "What do you want to talk about?"
(2) Shorter can be better. "Honey, can we talk for a few minutes" is less threatening than the ominous "We need to talk" announcement! Some people can only stand so much 'soul-baring', and pressuring them just gets the wrong result. If your spouse is unresponsive on an issue,discuss it with a trusted friend; then give your spouse the condensed,less emotional version.
(3) Be a friend, not a mentor. Don't try to change your mate by nagging.If you begin with, "Why can't you?" or, "Why do you always...?" you sound more like a parent than a partner. Tell them once what's bothering you,not 1,000 times! Ask yourself, "Would I say this to a valued friend?" If not, don't say it.
(4) Be affirming. It takes twelve compliments to neutralize one criticism. Your partner won't know how wonderful they are unless you tell them!
Have you seen the t-shirt that says, "I'm talking and I can't shut up!
"Whenever you're dating you can talk for hours. But when you're married,unless you work at it, conversation sometimes becomes superficial andleads to disagreements.
God says, "Be willing to listen and slow to speak."
There is an art to communicating.
(1) Let your mate lead. When they're talking about things outside yourfield of interest, remember, God said, "submit to one another" (Ephesians 5:21 ). Sometimes that means asking your partner, "What do you want to talk about?"
(2) Shorter can be better. "Honey, can we talk for a few minutes" is less threatening than the ominous "We need to talk" announcement! Some people can only stand so much 'soul-baring', and pressuring them just gets the wrong result. If your spouse is unresponsive on an issue,discuss it with a trusted friend; then give your spouse the condensed,less emotional version.
(3) Be a friend, not a mentor. Don't try to change your mate by nagging.If you begin with, "Why can't you?" or, "Why do you always...?" you sound more like a parent than a partner. Tell them once what's bothering you,not 1,000 times! Ask yourself, "Would I say this to a valued friend?" If not, don't say it.
(4) Be affirming. It takes twelve compliments to neutralize one criticism. Your partner won't know how wonderful they are unless you tell them!
Friday, April 29, 2005
Building A Better Marriage (2)
Live in... harmony. Romans 15:5
Jean Kerr says, "Getting married is like buying something you've admired for ages in a shop window. You love it, but when you get it home it doesn't always go with everything!"
Paul says, "Live in...harmony."
Hereare three suggestions:
(1) Stay teachable. Solomon says, "Answering before listening is...stupid and rude" ( Proverbs 18:13 ).
Keep an open mind. Don't form your response while your mate is still talking. The Bible says, "Do not merely look out for your own...interests, but also for the interests of others" ( Philippians 2:4 ).
Never become so entrenched in your position that you don't consider your mate's viewpoint.
Listening is about connecting and acknowledging where the other person's coming from.
(2) Keep humour alive. God says, "A cheerful heart brings a smile...asad heart makes it hard to get through the day" ( Proverbs 15:13 ).
When you're experiencing money woes, family problems, illness or plain old exhaustion, humour eases the tension and restores perspective.
(3) Eliminate the "D" word.
Although God permits divorce under certain circumstances it's never His ideal. One couple that worked through their marriage troubles said,
"We're glad we didn't give up during the difficult years. We hung in long enough to realize that it really can get better with time."
By committing to work on the relationship, no matter how things ultimately end up, you'll never regret your efforts.
Jean Kerr says, "Getting married is like buying something you've admired for ages in a shop window. You love it, but when you get it home it doesn't always go with everything!"
Paul says, "Live in...harmony."
Hereare three suggestions:
(1) Stay teachable. Solomon says, "Answering before listening is...stupid and rude" ( Proverbs 18:13 ).
Keep an open mind. Don't form your response while your mate is still talking. The Bible says, "Do not merely look out for your own...interests, but also for the interests of others" ( Philippians 2:4 ).
Never become so entrenched in your position that you don't consider your mate's viewpoint.
Listening is about connecting and acknowledging where the other person's coming from.
(2) Keep humour alive. God says, "A cheerful heart brings a smile...asad heart makes it hard to get through the day" ( Proverbs 15:13 ).
When you're experiencing money woes, family problems, illness or plain old exhaustion, humour eases the tension and restores perspective.
(3) Eliminate the "D" word.
Although God permits divorce under certain circumstances it's never His ideal. One couple that worked through their marriage troubles said,
"We're glad we didn't give up during the difficult years. We hung in long enough to realize that it really can get better with time."
By committing to work on the relationship, no matter how things ultimately end up, you'll never regret your efforts.
Building A Better Marriage (1)
Use your head...so...your love is sincere and intelligent, not sentimental gush. Philippians 1:9-10
A woman awoke one night to find her husband wasn't in the bed. She found him in the kitchen looking very serious so she asked,
"What's going on?"He replied,
"Remember in high school when your dad caught us kissing and said if I didn't marry you immediately he'd make sure I was jailed for 20years?
Well, I'm sitting here thinking - I'd have gotten out of jail today!
" Seriously, a strong marriage means falling in love over and over again - with the same person!
The Bible says make sure "your love is...not sentimental gush."
You do that by working through the challenges.
Here are some thoughts to help you:
(1) Recharge your batteries regularly. It's impossible to escape marital stress but you can control it by taking breaks from the daily grind.
Take a walk together, throw a Frisbee, have a coffee together, do whatever"reconnects" you. And tell your children you're taking a time-out!
(2) Keep talking. Even though something seems obvious to you, don't assume your mate can read your mind. And never resort to "the silent treatment." Tell them what's bothering you, even if it means working through a disagreement. It's when you don't care enough to disagree,that you need to worry!
(3) Be open to counsel. The Bible says, "Pride...breeds quarrels, but wisdom is found in those who take advice" ( Proverbs 13:10 NIV). When you reach a stalemate get input from a trusted friend or counsellor,before it becomes a crisis.
A woman awoke one night to find her husband wasn't in the bed. She found him in the kitchen looking very serious so she asked,
"What's going on?"He replied,
"Remember in high school when your dad caught us kissing and said if I didn't marry you immediately he'd make sure I was jailed for 20years?
Well, I'm sitting here thinking - I'd have gotten out of jail today!
" Seriously, a strong marriage means falling in love over and over again - with the same person!
The Bible says make sure "your love is...not sentimental gush."
You do that by working through the challenges.
Here are some thoughts to help you:
(1) Recharge your batteries regularly. It's impossible to escape marital stress but you can control it by taking breaks from the daily grind.
Take a walk together, throw a Frisbee, have a coffee together, do whatever"reconnects" you. And tell your children you're taking a time-out!
(2) Keep talking. Even though something seems obvious to you, don't assume your mate can read your mind. And never resort to "the silent treatment." Tell them what's bothering you, even if it means working through a disagreement. It's when you don't care enough to disagree,that you need to worry!
(3) Be open to counsel. The Bible says, "Pride...breeds quarrels, but wisdom is found in those who take advice" ( Proverbs 13:10 NIV). When you reach a stalemate get input from a trusted friend or counsellor,before it becomes a crisis.
Thursday, April 28, 2005
Laying down your life for Jesus
John 15:12- 17
Reflection:
In today's Gospel reading, Jesus emphasizes that he has chosen us to be his friends.
HE chose YOU!
He looked at you and said to the Father, "I want be close friends with this one!
"Slaves serve their masters out of fear and duty.
Friends serve each other because they care.
Jesus doesn't want us to serve him with the "do it or else"fear of punishment. Nor does he want us to serve him out of obligation and duty.
Rather, he wants us to realize that he's here to serve us, because he cares about us.
Then, because we love him so much, we want to serve him.
And in loving him we love everyone whom he loves, and we want to serve them as he serves them!
Jesus and you are friends partnering together to make the world a better place.
Jesus summarized all the commandments in one sentence:
"Love one another as I love you."
Do you obey God because you love OTHERS? Do you obey Church teachings because you love others?
We are friends of Jesus to the extent that we love everyone whom he loves and to the extent that we serve them as he serves them,for he serves them not only with us but through us.
This of course means doing good to everyone, even the evil-doers who bring trouble to our lives.
Loving means caring; it does not mean putting up with evil.
Do you pray forthose who've made you suffer?
Not this kind of prayer: "Get 'em God! Make themsuffer like they made me suffer." Instead, do you ask God to heal their souls and bless them with his mercy?
If they don't repent, they will reap what they sow and suffer terrible consequences.
Do you care?
Jesus is our example of how to serve the sinner while stopping the sins. It can be our most difficult sacrifice, but by uniting ourselves to Jesus and his way of handling sinners, we obey the Father just like Jesus did.
Then, whatever we ask the Father in his name (i.e., while united to Jesus), it will be given to us.
This is a fact, because when we unite ourselves to Jesus, we won't ever ask for anything that is not already the Father's will for us!
And thus, Jesus gets another opportunity to serve us, to his great delight.If we want to grow deeper in our love relationship with God, we will serve our friend Jesus by serving those around us, because we care. In friendship, Jesus serves us as we walk the extra mile to Calvary for the sake of others.
Love is the bottom line and top priority of every decision we make and every action wetake, even if it doesn't seem right in our limited brains and wounded hearts.
This is how we lay down our lives for our friend Jesus.
Reflection:
In today's Gospel reading, Jesus emphasizes that he has chosen us to be his friends.
HE chose YOU!
He looked at you and said to the Father, "I want be close friends with this one!
"Slaves serve their masters out of fear and duty.
Friends serve each other because they care.
Jesus doesn't want us to serve him with the "do it or else"fear of punishment. Nor does he want us to serve him out of obligation and duty.
Rather, he wants us to realize that he's here to serve us, because he cares about us.
Then, because we love him so much, we want to serve him.
And in loving him we love everyone whom he loves, and we want to serve them as he serves them!
Jesus and you are friends partnering together to make the world a better place.
Jesus summarized all the commandments in one sentence:
"Love one another as I love you."
Do you obey God because you love OTHERS? Do you obey Church teachings because you love others?
We are friends of Jesus to the extent that we love everyone whom he loves and to the extent that we serve them as he serves them,for he serves them not only with us but through us.
This of course means doing good to everyone, even the evil-doers who bring trouble to our lives.
Loving means caring; it does not mean putting up with evil.
Do you pray forthose who've made you suffer?
Not this kind of prayer: "Get 'em God! Make themsuffer like they made me suffer." Instead, do you ask God to heal their souls and bless them with his mercy?
If they don't repent, they will reap what they sow and suffer terrible consequences.
Do you care?
Jesus is our example of how to serve the sinner while stopping the sins. It can be our most difficult sacrifice, but by uniting ourselves to Jesus and his way of handling sinners, we obey the Father just like Jesus did.
Then, whatever we ask the Father in his name (i.e., while united to Jesus), it will be given to us.
This is a fact, because when we unite ourselves to Jesus, we won't ever ask for anything that is not already the Father's will for us!
And thus, Jesus gets another opportunity to serve us, to his great delight.If we want to grow deeper in our love relationship with God, we will serve our friend Jesus by serving those around us, because we care. In friendship, Jesus serves us as we walk the extra mile to Calvary for the sake of others.
Love is the bottom line and top priority of every decision we make and every action wetake, even if it doesn't seem right in our limited brains and wounded hearts.
This is how we lay down our lives for our friend Jesus.
Homily of the Day
Title: Let Him Tend Your Garden
Acts 15:1-6 / Jn 15:1-8
Not everyone has a “green thumb” and most of us can’t even keep a house plant alive and happy for more than a few months. But there is something wonderful about watching a talented gardener at work, snipping, pruning, watering, fertilizing — nurturing something alive and helping it to thrive.
“I wish someone could do that for me,” we may hear ourselves sigh.
Jesus answers that silent wish in today’s gospel. He tells us that God our Father is the one who wants to do precisely that for all of us. What better mentor could we have than the Loving One who sees all and knows all and who dwells permanently at the center of our being?
He speaks to us through the silence, from deep within. And for those who have learned to listen and to trust him, wisdom, peace, and joy await. At every juncture, he will guide our hand to the good, and will show us the way to draw forth the good even from evil.
Let him tend your garden.
Let him be your mentor.
It will change your life.
Acts 15:1-6 / Jn 15:1-8
Not everyone has a “green thumb” and most of us can’t even keep a house plant alive and happy for more than a few months. But there is something wonderful about watching a talented gardener at work, snipping, pruning, watering, fertilizing — nurturing something alive and helping it to thrive.
“I wish someone could do that for me,” we may hear ourselves sigh.
Jesus answers that silent wish in today’s gospel. He tells us that God our Father is the one who wants to do precisely that for all of us. What better mentor could we have than the Loving One who sees all and knows all and who dwells permanently at the center of our being?
He speaks to us through the silence, from deep within. And for those who have learned to listen and to trust him, wisdom, peace, and joy await. At every juncture, he will guide our hand to the good, and will show us the way to draw forth the good even from evil.
Let him tend your garden.
Let him be your mentor.
It will change your life.
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